Not Everything is Right
by emm5683
Summary: Bella has gone through a lot and it seems like every time she turns around, something is screwed up. Edward fell for her when she needed him the most, even though he hasn't always been nice to her. Are they really meant to be together?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT

**A/N: I started this story, just because I felt like it. I needed something new to write, and I just finished "What Keeps Me Breathing/ What I Fight For" and I needed something to fill the slot :)**

**Chapter Playlist:**

Collect call- metric **atlas- fanfarlo** wet blanket- metric **all I wanted- paramore **let's get lost- beck & bat for lashes **done all wrong- black rebel motorcycle club **leave out all the rest- linkin park **love the way you lie ( feat rhianna)- eminem **goodbye love- RENT **walking on air- Kerli **after hours- we are scientists **white horse- taylor swift **boulevard of broken dreams- green day **hot n cold- katy perry** 6 months- hey Monday **need you now- lady antebellum **new moon (the meadow)- alexandre desplat **according to you- orianthi **looking up- paramore

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I looked out my window as the plane was landing. I didn't want to get off. I was the last one to leave. I went through the small hallway, into the huge crowd. I was swept into a big bear hug. "Bella!" I looked up to see my brother Emmett. I smiled.

"Emmett, I can't breathe."

"Oops." He pulled away from me. I saw my dad, Charlie.

"Hey Dad."

He smiled. "I'm really glad to have you back kid." He pulled me into a hug too. We all climbed into his cruiser (he was Fork's chief of police) after getting my luggage. Before I knew it we arrived at the small house, I used to live in.

My room looked familiar. The walls still painted a deep purple. The only thing that has really changed was my bed and my desk.

I unpacked my things as I filled Charlie and Emmett in on my life, they filled me in on their's.

I enjoyed all their amusing stories. Especially one about teaching Emmett to drive. Charlie is afraid to be in the car with him now.

"So Emmett, how's college life?" I asked.

He looked uneasy all of a sudden. "Actually… Something came up… And…"

"Let me guess, you're failing." He shook his head. "You got kicked out?"

"Kind of close."

My eyes widened. "Dropped out?" He stayed still, I smacked him gently. "Emmett, mom's going to kill you!"

"Wait till you hear why he dropped out." My dad said bluntly.

"Why?" I scolded.

"Because I was bored." He said sheepishly.

I rolled my eyes. "You're retarded."

"You can't tell mom." He pleaded.

"When will _you _then?" I asked.

"When I come up with a better excuse for why I did it." I laughed.

"Fine, but you have to pay me fifty dollars if you want my to keep my mouth shut." I stuck my hand out. He shook it.

"Deal."

* * *

Today was my first day of school, and I was extremely nervous. I woke up to find Emmett watching the news in his boxers. I shielded my eyes. "Oh god! Cover up!" He flexed his muscles.

"See, I thought I looked pretty damn good."

"At least put pants on!" I yelled. He went up stairs and came back down in basketball shorts. I said silent thanks. I poured some cereal, and ate it. Then I headed out the door.

"Rock the school Bella!" Emmett shouted as I opened the door.

"Will do!" I shouted back.

I climbed into my truck. It was actually Billy's – one of Charlie's friends- but he gave it to me.

I pulled into the parking lot after a couple minutes. Everyone stared at me as I got out. I went into the office and got my schedule. In first period, a short girl with short hair that stuck out all of the place, came up to me. "Hi I'm Alice Cullen." She gave me a hug. I was a little surprised.

"Bella."

"You're new right?"

I nodded. "Yes." We exchanged classes, and found out we had all of them together except biology. I was glad I would have at least one friend. At lunch, she towed me by the arm, to a table where a blonde sat.

She introduced herself to me. "Hey, my name is Rosalie." She smiled. "You're Bella right?" I nodded.

"Yes." I felt my pocket vibrate, and I pulled my phone out. I got a text message from Emmett.

**How's ur day so far?**

"Ooo who's Emmett?" Alice said flirtatiously. I shrugged.

"Uh, my brother." I raised my eyebrows.

"Wait, Emmett Swan?" Rosalie asked.

"She's had a crush on him since sophomore year." Alice said quickly. Rosalie nudged her hard. "Ow!" She yelled.

"Speaking of crushes." Rosalie whispered. A boy with blonde hair, and who looked a lot like Rosalie sat down at the table. Alice blushed, and shot Rosalie a death glare. "This is Jasper." Another boy sat down, he was gorgeous. He had bronze tousled hair, and sparkling green eyes. "And Edward. Jasper is twin brother, and Edward is Alice's stepbrother." My gaze shifted back to Edward who was staring at me now. "This is Bella." She told them.

"Nice to meet you." Jasper said.

Edward shook my hand. "Hey."

"I still can't believe Emmett has a little sister. How come I've never seen you before?" Rosalie asked.

Everyone turned to me. "Well I just moved back here." They all looked confused. "A couple of years ago, my parents got a divorce, and Emmett stayed here to finish high school, and I moved with my mom. I decided to come live my dad again because my mom had to travel with her new husband."

"Oh." Alice said.

I noticed during the rest of lunch, different girls kept glaring at me. I tried to ignore them, but I couldn't.

Alice walked with me to Biology. I waved goodbye to her, when we got to the door. I walked in. "Hello Ms. Swan." The teacher boomed. I hurried on over to his desk, and I was given all the necessary papers. "You can sit down next to Mr. Cullen." I felt my heartbeat quicken.

_Bella. You barely know him._

I looked around the room, and spotted Edward sitting at a lab table. I gathered my stuff, and walked towards him. He was talking to a girl named Jessica, in front of him. I felt my heart sink.

I sat down and he turned and smiled at me. Jessica grimaced. "Edward?" She called. He looked back at her.

"Sorry." He muttered.

"It's okay." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. I turned my head not wanting to intrude on their privacy. "Anyways so Angela likes Ben but.." I drowned her out.

The teacher started class, and we had to write notes, without talking. Jessica turned back in her seat, but not before glaring at me.

After class, I saw Rosalie down the hall waiting for me. I started making me way there, when I landed flat on my face. Immediately I heard Rosalie coming towards me. "Edward! You ass!" I stumbled to stand up. And saw Edward and Jessica and various other people laughing.

"Sorry." He laughed.

I couldn't believe he tripped me. I felt tears in my eyes. I started running down the hall

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**a/n: this will get better I promise! REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: What should i say... check out my other stories :) and review at the end of this one :)**

* * *

Alice and Rosalie stayed by my side during gym. Alice was furious. You could practically hear the steam coming out of her ears when Rosalie told her. I knew I made good friends.

Alice promised that she would tell her parents. I begged her not to. It wasn't a big deal. When I got home from school, Emmett wouldn't stop bugging me.

"Bella. You're my little sis. I can tell something is wrong." I shook my head.

"Everything is fine." I insisted.

He knitted his eyebrows together. "Sure…" He paused. "I'll figure it out eventually though."

"Right."

He laughed. "I will."

"Okay." I trudge up the stairs and in my room. I fell asleep doing my homework. I woke up in the middle of the night and started crying.

I got ready for school and then left the house. When I reached my destination, I saw Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, and… Edward.

I stalked off towards them.

I walked right towards Edward. "Why did you trip me?" I insisted.

You could tell I caught him off guard. "What do you mean?"

"You, tripped me yesterday." I stated.

"No I-" Alice glared at him. "I mean I'm sorry."

I felt anger build up in me. "No you're not."

"What?" He demanded.

"You're not sorry. You're not sorry at all." I turned to Alice and Rosalie. "Can we go?" They both nodded.

Those were the last words I spoke to Edward for months.

It's now January, and damn it's freaking cold. I was laying in my bed, debating whether or not it was the Sunday or Monday. But then I heard pounding on the front door.

Yup, it's a Sunday.

I raced downstairs to get it, and saw Alice bouncing on the balls of her feet, with Rosalie not so far behind her looking anxious.

"Beware, he's in his boxers again." I whispered, speaking about Emmett.

"I don't mind." Rosalie said.

I laughed. "I'm sure you don't."

Alice tugged on my arm. "Why aren't you ready?" She asked.

"I overslept." Every Sunday, we went had breakfast at the Cullens. Esme and Carlisle (the insisted by being called by their first names) considered us family.

Alice made a "tsk" sound and pulled me through the door. We were at the foot of the stairs, when we noticed Rosalie standing there, and her tongue was practically hanging out of her mouth, at Emmett, who was just smiling. "It's rude to stare." Alice said sarcastically. Rosalie came out of her trance, and walked towards us.

"Good morning ladies." Emmett bellowed.

All I said was, "Let's go," before Emmett showed off all his glory.

Alice zoomed to my closet and picked out my outfit, while Rose was doing my hair.

"Jeez we're only going to your house Alice."

She tilted her head staring at me. "I know, but you should always look your best Bella, you should know that by now." She smiled.

"Sure, sure." We quickly left the house, and I told Emmett that there was lunch in the fridge for him and my dad, who was fishing right now.

We eventually made it to the huge white Cullen house. Jasper and Edward were playing football in the yard. When I climbed out Edward smiled at me. I blushed. I was wearing a shirt that showed off my boobs, and skinny jeans. _Alice. _I grumbled in my head.

We walked inside, and Esme came and greeted us. "Come on, the food will get cold!" She exclaimed. She grabbed all three of us by the arms, and towed us into the dining room.

All across the table there was every breakfast food you could think of. Esme owned a restaurant, so she cooked a lot at home too. Experimenting she called it.

Carlisle was sitting down reading the newspaper, eating a bagel. "Hey girls, where are the boys?" We all shrugged.

"They're not mine to keep track of." Alice smiled. Esme gave her a disapproving look.

"You know Bella, you should invite your brother over for breakfast next weekend."

I smiled a sarcastic smile that only Alice and Rosalie would recognize. "Okay…"

We took our usual seats and dove in. The boys came in too. After I was done, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.

I went down the hall, and right before my fingers grazed the door handle, I heard someone whisper my name. I froze, and then realized it was only Edward.

"What do-" He put his hand over my mouth and then motioned for me to be quiet. He pointed to the bathroom. We both walked in.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I just wanted to let you know that I really am sorry about tripping you."

I grimaced. "Edward that was months ago." I said.

"But you didn't say you were or you weren't over it."

"I just want to know why you did it." I said softly.

"I don't know." He said with no emotion in his face. His hand came up and caressed my cheek. I felt a shock go through my body at his touch.

_No, Bella, he's not good for you._

"Well then I'm not over it." I pulled away, and then I stormed out of the bathroom. When I got back to everyone, I tried to ignore Alice and Rosalie's questioning look as they saw Edward a foot behind me.

I didn't even get to go to the bathroom.

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**a/n: REVIEW :)))))**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: wow, I didn't realize I haven't updated in a while... sorry!**

**Chapter Playlist:**

looking up- paramore

After breakfast, I told Alice and Rosalie that I didn't feel good, and I had to go home. I'm a horrible liar, and they both narrowed their eyes at me, but let me go.

After I got home, I watched a pointless movie with Emmett and then we ate dinner, and I went to bed. For some reason I was emotionally drained. My throat started hurting too. I hoped it would pass.

I woke up in the morning, and decided that I didn't want to go to school. I've never skipped school, so why not today? And my nose was stuffy along with my sore throat.

I came downstairs and Emmett was dressed for once.

"Why aren't you ready for school?" He asked suspiciously.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's healthy to ditch every now and then." He smiled.

"That deserves a knuckle touch, sis." He touched fists. I laughed with him.

"Wait, why are you dressed up?" I asked through my laughs.

"Oh, Dad got me a job at the hospital. I'm a security guard." He grinned.

I raised an eyebrow. "Hm, suits you." He started walking to the door.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?" He asked.

"Yes, of course." I shooed him out of the house, and then flopped onto the couch.

After a couple minutes, I started coughing. I felt horrible. I groaned into the couch pillows. I stayed there, and started drifting in and out of conscienceness.

Until I heard someone knocking on the front door. I pushed myself further into the side of the couch. "Go away." I murmured to myself. It stopped for a few minutes, and I smiled. Yay, sleepy time. But then it started again.

"Bella!" I heard someone shout.

"Come in!" I yelled, as loud as I could with my sore throat. The door opened, and I heard footsteps coming towards me.

"Are you okay?" The person asked me. I blinked open my eyes to find Edward kneeling in front of me.

"Why are you here?" I sputtered.

He stared at me. "Why are _you_ here?" He retorted.

"Because I live here." I said confused.

"Well why aren't you at school?"

I closed my eyes for a minute trying to remember why, and then I sneezed. Oh yeah. "I'm sick, can't you tell?" I sat up. "Hey how come you aren't at school?"

"Because you weren't there, and I was worried."

I smiled. "Edward Cullen is worried about me? That's scary." He frowned.

"You know, you shouldn't really have just said 'come in'. What if I was a serial killer rapist coming in for you as my next victim, and you just casually let me in."

I sank back down into the couch. "Well it's a good thing you aren't a serial killer rapist."

He frowned. "That's not the point."

I sat up. "Since when did you care about what I do?" I asked.

His face went blank. Then he walked away. "Where do you keep medicine stuff?" He shouted.

"The upstairs bathroom."

He nodded and headed up my stairs, in my house. I shook my head and then fell back onto the couch.

He came back a few minutes with a thermometer and cold medicine.

"I can take care of myself." I grumbled into the pillow.

"Obviously you can't."

He lifted me up and stuck the thermometer into my mouth. "Keep it under your tongue." He commanded.

"Yes sir." I muttered.

Then he gave me the pills and a glass of water. He took the thermometer out of my mouth and I swallowed the pills. As I gulped down the water he said, "103." He looked at me. "That's not good."

"I'll be fine, it's just a cold." I insisted.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Lay down." I cuddled into the couch and pulled a blanket over me. I was freezing still. I started shivering. Edward got out of his seat and then walked over to me. "Get up." I stood up and then he laid down. He patted the space in front of him.

"But you're gonna get sick-"

"I don't care."

I laid down, and he pulled the blanket over me. "Warmer?" He asked.

I nodded. I started falling asleep instantly. But it was kind of strange sleeping on the same couch as my best friends brother.

A couple hours later, I slowly started to wake up. I burrowed deeper into the couch, only met by something warm and soft. I turned around and buried my face into whatever it was. I felt something around me too. I opened my eyes, and saw that what I was laying next to was Edward. And his arms were snaked around my waist. He was also asleep. I smiled. He looked peaceful. Then his eyes flew open. He looked at me and smiled too. I let go of mine though. Then he sat up quickly knocking off the couch.

"I have to go." Was all he said before he went through the front door.

I stayed on the floor, confused.

What was with him?

The next day at school, I passed Edward in the parking lot. He was making out with Jessica. I froze in my tracks, I tried not to stare at them, but I couldn't help it. I felt rage building up in me, but I didn't know why. Alice saw me and skipped like her usual pixie self towards me. She tried to tow me forward but I was still glaring at them. The stopped kissing, and Jessica's back was facing me while Edward was staring right back at me.

I couldn't tell what he was feeling. Not at all. Anger? Sadness? No, I'm not sure.

Then he gave me a death glare. I could have fallen to my knees if it wasn't for Rosalie and Alice on my sides still trying to move me forward. I stalked off without them and into the school.

I got to my first period, I was the first one in there. I put my head in my hands while the class filed in. I felt an angry tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see Jessica.

"I swear to god, if you stare at my boyfriend one more time, I'll-"

"Jessica, class has started!" The teacher shrieked.

She ran to her seat and then turned to look at me. No not look, that is an understatement. She gave me more of a death glare than Edward did.

"Class, we have a new student here today," Mr. Greene started. A boy with cropped black hair, and deep russett skin walked into the room. He met my stare for a second. "Jacob Black."

Everyone waved to him. "Mr. Black, you can find an open seat." He started down a row and then leaned down to me.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked gesturing to the seat next to me.

I nodded and he smiled a huge white one.

"My name is Bella." I whispered to him.

"Nice to meet you." He whispered back.

Later in the day at lunch, he sat next to me at our lunch table. Edward glared at Jacob.

Jacob nudged me. "What's his problem?"

I shrugged. "I honestly don't know."

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**a/n: don't worry, Jacob won't be that important...**

**REVIEW :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: REVIEW:**

**Chapter Playlist: Shark in the water- v.v. brown hear me- Kelly Clarkson fly on the wall- miley cyrus breakeven- the script beautiful disaster- Kelly Clarkson walking on air- kerli nine in the afternoon- panic at the disco front row- metric stuck on you- paramore**

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I ended up inviting Jacob over afterschool. We strolled into the living room, and I was surprised to find it Emmett free.

"Huh, that's strange…" I whispered.

Jake turned and looked at me. "What?"

I laughed a little. "Oh, nothing, I just need to make a phone call." I said as I pulled my phone out. I pressed speed dial number one and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Please don't tell me you locked yourself out again?" I asked. "Oh wait no you-"

"I'm at the local college in Seattle." He said cheerfully.

"What?" I sputtered in disbelief.

"I'm signing up for classes."

I smiled. "That's awesome Emmett!" I exclaimed. "Does Charlie know?" I asked.

"No, it's a surprise."

My eyebrow's furrowed together. "Wait, who's the girl?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked, obviously lying.

"There's no way you would've-"

"It's Rosalie." He admitted.

My jaw must have dropped to the ground.

"Rosalie?" I asked. "You mean, my best friend Rosalie?" I said hysterically. "But she's like two years younger than you."

"Well we've been talking on the phone…"

"Okay, well nice speaking to you. Can't talk, bye." Then I hung up my phone, and threw it into my back pack.

"You okay?" Jacob asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine-" I paused. "Wait, you no what? I'm not fine." I said, on the verge of tears.

Jacob grabbed my hand and walked me over to the couch.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"Not really." I admitted as I shook my head.

"Is it about that guy, Edward?" He asked again.

"Partially." I said quietly. More like 98 percent.

"You lie really bad." Jacob laughed. His face turned serious for a moment. "Listen, if we're gonna be friends, and I really hope we will…" I nodded, smiling. "Then, there's something I need to tell you."

I knitted my eyebrows together.

"What is it?" I asked scared.

"I'm gay."

Wow. He's gay. And I was worried he was going to say he had a girlfriend or say that he didn't like me.

I smiled, and nudged him with my elbow. "So do you like anyone?" I put the emphasis on the 'like'.

He opened his mouth to say something, and then froze, and then opened his mouth again. "You mean, you're okay with this?"

Now I was confused. "Yeah of course. Why?" I asked. His face saddened a bit, and I realized that not everything is okay for him. "Nevermind." I said quickly. "I don't want to know."

He smiled. "Alright, then. Just like how I don't want to know about you and Edward."

"Lack of. But yeah, exactly." I grinned back. "So for now on, we'll only talk about what happens, not what happened?"

"You know Bella. I think this is the start of a great friendship."

I laughed. "Ditto." We shook hands.

The next couple of weeks, I stuck by Jake. We got along great. Him and Rosalie butt heads a lot, but Alice… Well let's just say love is an understatement.

I think she is just secretly happy she has her first gay best friend.

But, I can't stand hanging around both of them at the same time. It's like they know each other inside out. If it was possible, I would say that they are even more best friends than me and Jake.

We were sitting at the lunch table, and Jacob and Alice were talking, when I heard Edward mutter something that snapped something inside of me. Jessica started laughing at the hideous word.

"What did you just call him?" I could've screamed, I was so mad.

Edward froze.

"You have no right to call him that." I said quietly. "No right!"

"Bella stop making a scene." Jacob said softly.

I turned to him. "No! I can't let someone say something like that about my best friend." I said pleadingly. Then I turned back to Edward. "You're a bastard." I gritted through my teeth. "I hope you go to hell."

He smiled a bit. "Already am."

Jessica stood up. "Don't talk to him like that!" She yelled. The whole cafeteria turned and stared at us.

"Then tell him not to talk crap about my friends!" I turned around, about to walk out of the doors when she spoke again.

"God Bella who cares! All he did was call him a fagot!" Then I steered back to her.

"Bitch." I said under my breath before my fist connected with her nose.

"I can't believe you broke her nose." Emmett gloated. I tried to fight back a smile.

I was now strolling out of the principle's office with suspension paper's in my hand, and Jessica's blood on my blouse.

He chuckled. "My little sister is a I fighter." He grinned. "So what happened after you punched her?"

"She hit me."

"Then?" He said as if this was the most interesting thing he heard all day. But he had class today, so knowing him it probably was.

"I pushed her into someone's table." I admitted, trying not to break into giggles. "And it broke when she fell on it." I said, holding my stomach while I laughed.

"You know Dad is going to kill you?"

"No, Emmett. I thought he was going to throw me a freaking party."

He stopped walking. He looked at me. "Seriously?"

I looked at him incredulously, still walking. "No!" I stalked off towards the parking lot. I stumbled into my truck, while Emmett followed me home in his jeep. We got to the house, and I climbed up the stairs to my room, thinking of what to say when Charlie comes home.

_Dad, my fist just happened to hit her in the nose._

No, too fake.

_Daddy. She got me really mad, and I wasn't thinking at the time._

Someone knocked on my door. I sat up, and said, "Come in."

Emmett stomped inside and sat beside me on my bed. "Are you still mad at me about Rose?" He asked.

Rose? He's already calling her Rose? I mean, is she calling him Em? I didn't even look at him.

"Yes."

"Well... Bella you have to get over it." He said angrily. I shot him a glare. "Because I'm having her over for dinner tonight.. So try not to tell Dad about your suspension until after she leaves?" I stared wide eyed at him.

"You're kidding me?" He shook his head. I hit him with my textbook laying by me.

"Ow!" He fake cried.

"That's what you get." I muttered. He left me alone until about two hours later. It was 2:30, and I heard him call my name. I rushed down the stairs, to find Jacob standing there. He looked a mixture of pissed and sad.

I hurried over there. "Jake? What's wrong?" I asked. Emmett back away, and I took Jacob up to my room.

"Everyone found out." He said icily.

I froze. "How?" I yelped.

"Cullen." I shot up, he pulled me back down my the elbow.

"Bella, the reason I moved here was so I could start over, and so no one would find out. But now that's ruined."

"No, Edward's going to pay." I grabbed my shoes sitting on the floor and grabbed Jacob's arm and ran out of the house.

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**A/N: Special thanks to BerryEbilBunny for the idea of making Jacob gay. The direction I was going was really bad until this little reviewer came along and suggested it :)**

**Thank you to all who've reviewed!**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I'm going to try to update 1-2 times a week now... enjoy!**

**Chapter playlist: **

ur so gay- katy perry **drumming song- Florence + the machine **walking on air- kerli **stadium love- metric **7 things- miley cyrus **where the lines overlap- paramore **seasons of love- RENT **magic's in the makeup- no doubt **I'm not calling you a liar- Florence + the machine **succexy- metric **you're not sorry- taylor swift **ottoman- vampire weekend**

I rushed through the little town of Forks to the Cullen's big house. Jacob sat in the passenger seat next to me, still trying to talk me out of what I was about to do.

The car pulled to an abrupt stop, and I hurried out of the car, up the three steps on their porch to the grand door. My fist pounded against the white wood, with loud thuds.

Alice answered it.

"Bella, Jacob!" She exclaimed as she swung the door open. I could hear someone playing piano through the house, but I ignored it.

"Can't talk." I said as I walk through the big room to the stairs. I stalked off upstairs until I eventually got to the third floor. The sound of the music got louder until I pushed open Edward's door and saw him sitting at a piano.

I've never actually ever seen his room. It was kind of messy to be honest. He didn't notice I was here yet because his back was facing me. I tip-toed towards the bench where he sat, and peered over his shoulder to see what he was playing, it sounded familiar.

"Clair de lune?" I asked.

He jumped and spun around to face me. "Yes." He said with a faint blush on his cheeks.

Then I remembered why I saw here. I stared him in the eye.

"I swear to God, Edward. I hate you!" I yelled. "Don't ever touch me." He stood up, and we were face to face. Well more like face to chest, because he was really tall. "Don't ever come over my house. Don' even speak-" I was interrupted my his lips smashing against mine.

I felt my blood boil under my pale skin. I pulled away and then punched him square in the jaw. He stared at me in shock.

"What was that for?" He shouted. I heard Alice and Jake coming up the stairs.

"Bella?" She searched.

"For kissing me!" I shrieked.

She came into Edward's room. She saw Edward who was rubbing his jaw, and me standing there probably looking like a mad woman.

"Bella, I thought you learned after today, that punching people is never a solution." She said matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes, and sat down on the bed in the corner of the room. Alice examined Edward's face, while Jacob came over and stood near me. He high-fived me.

"Carlisle and Esme are out for the night. I was just about to order a pizza. Do you guys want to eat with me?" Alice asked. I saw Edward stare at her.

"What about me?" He asked.

She stared icily at him. "You can order your own pizza."

"Yeah," I said quickly. "That sounds like a good idea. Anything to get out of telling Charlie about my suspension."

Jacob laughed. "I guess I could stay." He said glaring at Edward. I grabbed his hand.

"Come on Jacob." I said and we walked out of the room, with Alice following us. I looked back and saw Edward just sitting on the piano bench, staring after me.

We ordered pizza, and sat down to watch Remember Me. I admit, even I cried. And I'm one of those people that show's everyone my emotion, except maybe when I'm mad.

We decided to spend the night, luckily it was Friday. Alice got us some blankets, and we all spread out on the couches. She turned on another movie, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist.

About half way through the movie Alice and Jacob were fast asleep. My phone started vibrating, and I quickly answered it.

"Hello?" I whispered as softly as I could.

"Bella, where the hell are you?" Charlie yelled.

"Sorry, I'm at Alice's. I forgot to call you." I said.

"Bella, I got a call from the school today-" I froze.

"It's late, and I'm about to fall asleep. Bye, love you." I clicked end. He'd be furious when I got home tomorrow.

"Can I talk to you?" I heard someone whisper. I felt my heart skip a beat. I looked around the dark room, and saw Edward with a small smile on his face standing at the foot of the stairs. I nodded. I saw Jacob stir a little, and once he was still again, I pulled the blanket off, and crept to the huge staircase and carefully followed Edward up the steps.

We went up to his room.

"Why are you still awake?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I couldn't sleep." I said simply.

"Neither could I." He said just as simple. I stared at him. "I'm truthfully sorry for today Bella." He said, and I could see the honesty in his eyes.

"Why are you so mean to me?" I asked ignoring his apology.

"Bella, I don't try to."

"Yeah right." I scoffed. I sat down on the piano bench. I noticed his window was open, a nice gentle breeze swept through his room every few seconds. "It's a front. An act. I've seen you be nice, but you choose not to be. And I'm tired of it." I saw him flinch when I said this. "I don't like this Edward." I whispered. "You're miserable on the inside, and you take it out on other people. And don't say you're sorry because I'm tired of hearing it. Because you're not sorry. Causing other's pain, takes away from you dealing with your own." I stood up and left without another word.

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**a/n: Hmm, this chapter is kind of short, but hey the shorter the chapters, the more chapters there are. And I liked where I ended it here.**

** REVIEW :))))))))**


	6. AUTHORS NOTE

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while.**

**I felt like I wasn't delivering the best chapters that my loyal fans deserve, and my personal life and troubles also caught up to me.**

**So, I PROMISE the next update will be on December 18. If new chapters are not up, I give you permission to PM me, and yell at me :)**

**THANK YOU TO ALL THAT HAVE REVIEWED!**

**In the mean time check out my other stories.**

**Here's a list of them (including this one because I'm posting this to all my current stories) and their descriptions:**

** Fire and Ice**

Bella never lands in the water. Jacob saves her. But after Bella gets a phone call, everything changes. She is left with the decision of the one who left her, or the one who put her back together again?

**What Keeps Me Breathing**

Part One: We all know the love story about Bella and Edward, but what about Renesmee and Jacob? Part Two: Everything in Renesmee's life is perfect again until life and danger find a way back into her life.

**Perfect**

How did Rosalie become a vampire? How did she like her knew family at first? How did she fall in love with Emmett? Rosalie's point of view on... well everything.

**And Everything Changes**

Edward and Bella have always been best friends. But what happens when Edward is dared to do something that will change their lives forever and put them in danger?

**Patience**

Our families are best friends. They expect us to get married but he's only my friend. "Bella, I'm going off to war." He said sadly. "What?" I sputtered. "No, no you can't!" I realized I might have real feelings buried deep inside after all. *civil war*

**Not Everything is Right**

Edward. He's so gorgeous. Amazingly nice, yet he can treat people like crap. Can one girl change his ways while he's falling for her?

**Hear Me**

Bella has had a traumatizing past. She escapes to Forks to live with her father, but continues to go downhill. Will a handsome man with golden eyes save her?


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: Yay! I updated!**

**This chapter is kind of sad towards the end...**

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The next morning, I quietly tiptoed into the house, Emmett was laying on the couch watching 16 & Pregnant. I set my stuff down on the ground by the front door.

"Why are you watching this?" I giggled. He jumped, he didn't hear me come in.

"It's educational." He mumbled.

"Educational?" I asked, trying to mask my laughter. I sat down beside him.

"Yeah, now I know not to get a girl pregnant at 16 because she will go through a bunch of crap." I started laughing. I looked around the house. "Where's Charlie?"

"Fishing." He said casually.

What a relief. At least I won't have to deal with him breathing down my back about my suspension. I stayed in my room all weekend. Trying to avoid Charlie. I only came out to go to the bathroom and get food at night when he was asleep. But Sunday night, as I was raiding the fridge, Charlie came in.

"You know you don't have to avoid me." I shrugged. "I'm not that mad at you anymore, so let's just forget about?" He stuck his hand out. I shook it.

"Forget about it!" I exclaimed quietly. We both quietly laughed.

"Besides, Emmett doesn't have class this week. And you'll be stuck with him." He went back upstairs with a smug grin on his face. I frowned.

I walked into the living room since I couldn't fall asleep. I plopped onto the soft sofa, and glided the late night television channels. I was in the middle of a The Nanny marathon, when around 5 AM I finally fell asleep.

_I was in some busy city bus stop. I saw Jacob through the crowd. I ran to him._

_"Jacob!" I shouted. "What are you doing?" I asked exasperated from running. He ignored me, staring straight ahead. I looked around me. There was a bench a good couple of feet away. I realized Alice sitting there. She was crying- that's an understatement- she was bawling. I looked up at Jake. "What happened? Why is Alice crying?"_

_He finally looked down at me._

_"You'll find out soon." I tugged on his muscular arm._

_"What's going on Jacob?" I could sense something wrong. A white bus pulled to a stop in front of us. It's doors screeched open, and I saw Alice cry harder. The whole crowd of people piled onto the bus, leaving behind groups of people crying. Jacob starting to approach the doors. He took one step and I followed. He looked down at me, and whispered, "I'm sorry."_

_"Jacob, for what?"_

_He took three more steps until he was on the bus. I stepped on one of the steps, he stopped me by putting his hands on my shoulders._

_"You can't come." He said sternly._

_"Why?" He continued to walk to the back of the bus. _

_The driver turned and looked at me. "Because it's not your turn." He said as I slowly glided down onto the ground._

I started coughing, trying to breathe.

"Bella!" Someone yelled. My eyes blinked open as I tried to breathe.

Emmett started patting my back.

My breathing returned to normal. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I must have choked in my sleep or something like that.." I heard some sniffling and hiccups. I looked over to see Alice, with tears steaming down her face. It reminded me of my dream. Rosalie was sitting by her, trying to calm her. I glanced at the clock sitting by me. It was three in the afternoon.

I hurried up over to her. "Alice what's wrong?" She wouldn't speak, instead Emmett did.

"You know, your friend Jacob?" I nodded, walking towards him. "Well after school, he uh..." He looked at Rosalie for help.

"Um, well Bella, it was a tough day for him, and when he got home, he-" She dragged out slowly.

"Killed himself!" Alice screeched, sobs wrenching her small body.

**a/n: Somehow, Jacob always gets the bad end of the stick in my stories... HeHe.**

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	8. Chapter 8

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**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: Okay, I got a lot of crap about me killing off Jacob. But since this is my story, I can do whatever I want. I could kill off everyone besides Alice and let her suffer, even though I won't do that :). If you have a problem with what I write, then what you can do is simple, don't read it.**

**Sorry if I seemed a bit rude, but I'm just expressing how I feel. Now I really hope I don't lose any readers, because it really is devastating to a writer.**

**Special thanks to jojobear33, stormdog11, bluelottadots16, taralynn09, shadie16, BerryEbilBunny, and TheRealMadHattress for reviewing last chapter.**

**Wow... That's a lot of reviewers, and I love every single one you!**

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Water.

Water is blurring my vision.

I can't breathe again. Am I drowning?

I hear voices calling my name. A bloodcurdling sound is coming out of my mouth. My heart is beating against my chest.

I feel someone's arms around me.

"Let go!" I yell.

I stumble out of Emmett's arms, wiping my tears away with my arm sleeve. I grab my car keys and hurry out of the house.

By the time, I got to the hospital, I saw Emmett's jeep pull into the parking lot, but I ignored it and ran into the big building.

It felt like I was in slow motion. I kept pumping my feet faster, but I felt like I wasn't getting to where I needed to go. I whipped my sleeve up to my face to wipe the tears. I swung my arms harder to give myself more momemtum. I skidded to a stop in front of a receptionist.

"Excuse me," I started.

She was on the phone, she mouthed, "I'm sorry." I growled and continued to run like a lunatic through the too-white hallways. I heard Emmett's bellowing shouts and Rosalie's usually raspy voice, hard and rough trying to get my attention. I slammed my hand against the button by the elevator.

I tapped my foot impatiently, watching Alice sitting on a chair, and Em and Rose running towards me.

The doors opened, and I didn't hesitate to enter. I quickly pressed the close button, so they couldn't get in.

I looked at myself in the mirror wall. I was a mess.

The elevator got to it's stop, and I hurried out of it. When I stalked out of it I looked at the map.

My fingers grazed the word, MORGUE.

I didn't want to believe it so I continued down the hallway.

_How can he be dead? I just saw him!_

I slammed into a warm wall.

Wall? No someone's arms held me close. I squeezed my eyes shut.

_Impossible!_

"Bella." The voice I detested right now whispered into my ear. I looked up at him with my big brown chocolate eyes.

"I hate you." I whispered, my voice cracking.

"I know." Edward said softly. He hugged me again, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"It's all your fault." I said, my voice getting louder. "If it wasn't for you humiliating him-" I pulled away and pushed him into the bare wall. I stomped up towards him. He stood still. I hit him. "I hate you! You killed him!" I continued to punch and slap him, until he finally grabbed my wrists. The sound of my tears echoed in the hallway, as he held me close.

Eventually my sobs became mere hiccups and sniffles. I was sitting on Edward's lap, and he was rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"What happened?" I asked finally.

He turned me around so I was facing him. "I can't tell you that." He said sadly.

I swallowed hard. "Edward, whatever it is, I can handle it." I pleaded.

"Okay, well." He paused. My eyes told him to continue. A sigh escaped his mouth before he started again. "Before, I tell you what happened, I have to tell you that, after our talk, I really thought, hard. And today at school, I was nice to Jacob. I even stood up for him."

"Please just say it." I demanded.

He cleared his throat. "All day, in the hallways, people screamed-" He paused to search for the right words, "Bad things at him. In second period some one stuck a rainbow colored piece of paper that said, "I'm available" to his back. He didn't realize it was on him until lunch when Alice noticed it. Alice freaked out. She ran around the cafeteria, asking who did it. When we all sat down at the table, some kid started chanting, "Queer". The whole cafeteria went along with it. We all tried to stop it. Rosalie took Jacob out when Alice gave everyone death glares as Jasper tried to tow her out. I was yelling at the kid who started the chanting."

He smiled a little bit. "I'm suspended now too." I didn't notice the black eye on his face before. I softly traced the dark bruise with my fingers.

"He punched you?" I asked.

"Well technically, I hit him first. Then he punched me." His smile vanished. "Anyways, the school sent me home. I was in my car leaving when I got a text from Alice. She said he didn't come to class. I assured her it was fine, even though I later learned that- that- if I went over his house I- I could have stopped him Bella!" He exclaimed. He went back to the story. "I was in my room, when my mom came in asking where Alice was. School ended a half hour ago, and she usually calls before going to her friends house. Then my phone rang. I picked it up, and it was her crying. I couldn't understand anything she was saying, except "Jacob" and "House". That was when I knew something was wrong. I ran to my car and hurried to Jacob's house. I found Alice in the front doorway. She didn't move when I came up to her, she just shook and pointed to the hallway inside behind her.

"Jacob hung himself on the stairs." I felt chills run through my body as Edward said those six words. "I quickly got Alice out of the house, and into her car. I could tell the sight terrified her. I called 911 and waited for Billy to come home. By the time he was back from work, the ambulance came. He came right as they had him in the body bag on the gurney. I don't think I've ever fully understood how much love a man could have for his son until that moment. I'll never forget that Bella."

"I still hate you." I murmured. "But thank you."

"For what?" He asked.

"For being there for Jacob. For standing up for him today." I wrapped my arms around him.

I could swear I heard the words "I love you.", mumbled in my ear. I barely caught it. It was almost inaudible. But I know I heard those words come out of Edward Cullen's mouth.

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**a/n: I killed Jacob off because of the recent gay teen suicides. I felt like it was a tough topic, yes. But an important one.**

**I'll have you know, this chapter was so hard to write. It has taken me since the 24th, to get this chapter complete. Phew.**

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	9. Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: Don't listen to my excuses. Cuz I have none. Instead, read this wonderful story.**

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_"I still hate you." I murmured. "But thank you."_

_"For what?" He asked._

_"For being there for Jacob. For standing up for him today." I wrapped my arms around him._

_I could swear I heard the words "I love you.", mumbled in my ear. I barely caught it. It was almost inaudible. But I know I heard those words come out of Edward Cullen's mouth._

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_

"I didn't know Jacob long. But he was one of my best friends." Alice sniffled. "I guess I have to give the credit to Bella. Because if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have ever gotten to know him." My breathing hitched and I looked down and played with the stitching of the bottom of my black dress. I bunched up some fabric in my hand, and twisted it around and around until Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked up at him, and continued to grasp his hand. I noticed Alice's eyes get glossy as tears produced. She was standing in front of everyone and we were at Jacob's funeral.

"You know, there was one time, when there was this boy I liked. Everyone knew but him." I saw her eyes glance at Jasper quickly and then stare at the microphone. "Jacob held me when I cried about it. And he comforted me when that guy started to date someone. He told me that I would find someone better. He said, Sometimes you're better off being surrounded by friends and no one else." She laughed a little bit. "So we agreed that we would both apply to the same college, and the both of us and Bella would live together in our own apartment." Tears started to drip. "The night before- Jacob and I were looking at colleges on-on-line." She stared at me. "I can't go on." She hurried off the stage and sat down next to me.

Jacob's dad, Billy, gestured for me to come up. I tightened my hand and then slowly approached the stand.

"I was the first person that Jacob came out to. It was what blossomed our friendship. We both traded secrets." My eyes danced to Edward. "He thought that I wouldn't want to be his friend." I felt my eyes prickle. "But I didn't mind.

"Right before I found out about his… death. I was sleeping. And the dream I had will haunt me forever. I was at a busy bus stop, and I spotted Jacob through the crowd. Alice was sitting with a bunch of people crying. I asked him what was wrong and what was going on. He kept telling me that I would find out. Then a bus came. He got on and I tried to follow but the bus driver said it wasn't my time.

"After that, I was awakened and I found out about what happened.

"From the book The Notebook, "The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected." In the words of Tom Petty,

"You and I will meet again  
When we're least expecting it  
One day in some far off place  
I will recognize your face  
I won't say goodbye my friend  
For you and I will meet again."

"I never got to say goodbye to him. I know I'll see him.

"As someone once said, "We only part to meet again."

"I know Jacob is happy now. I can feel it in my bones. He loves where he's at. He's finally free. I hope he won't forget about me, because when it is my turn to get on that bus, I'll find him." I saw many people crying at this point as I walked down the stairs to the audience. Tears started to flow from my face and I ran out of the chapel and into the lobby. I tripped and then I landed on the soft, stinky carpet. I heard footsteps hurry in.

I pried the heels off my feet and threw them to the side. "God damn shoes!" I cried.

"It's not good to curse in the house of God."

I looked up to see Edward.

He wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his chest.

* * *

That night Emmett, Charlie and I ate dinner as a family, watched a movie as a family, and played monopoly... as a family. It was kind of annoying. But I didn't want to take it for granted. For all I knew, one of the valves in my heart can be messed up and I can die in my sleep tonight.

After Charlie went to bed, I crept down the stairs so I wouldn't wake Emmett up. But the room was being projected by the flashing lights of the tv in the dark. I was still wearing my dress from the service. I noticed Emmett sitting upright on the couch. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of Twizzlers and a coke. I popped the tab of the can as I plopped onto the carpet by the couch. I dropped a twizzler into the whole and drank through it, using it as a straw.

"Can't sleep?" Emmett mumbles.

I nod. "Twizzler." I lean the bag back towards him.

He takes a handful. "Neither can I." He doesn't say anything for a while. Then, "Rosalie should be here soon."

I look at the tv box. "At one thirty in the morning?"

"She thinks she's pregnant." He blurted out. I abruptly turn around and stare at him wide mouthed.

* * *

I'm slumped in my chair staring at Rosalie as she paces my room. Sleep is about to overtake me if the timer doesn't go off soon. "You had to pick the one with the longest wait?" I mumble.

"It was the most reliable at the store." She snaps.

I roll my eyes and then shut them.

"Don't fall asleep!" She shrieks.

I jolt upright, rubbing my eyes. I dim the light slightly. Emmett is downstairs all by himself. He is probably freaking out. And somehow Charlie is still asleep.

My phones buzzes and I look at the screen. "Time's up." I say shakily.

Rosalie breathes in deeply. She walks over to my dresser where the test is laying on a towel. She whimpers a little bit and then, "Pregnant." She whispers.

Within minutes we are walking down the stairs, our elbows locked, the pee stick still in Rose's hands. Emmett turns and looks at us and immediately knows the answer to his question he left unspoken. He buries his head in his hands for a second and then runs up to us and wraps his arms around Rose. I stand there alone, watching as Rosalie cries silently and Emmett tells her everything will be okay.

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**a/n: That was kind of a cliffhanger I guess. And don't worry this whole Rose and Emmett thing won't be that important to the story. :) I've only been to one funeral so it was kind of hard to write the beginning of the chapter**

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	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: When I first sat down to write this chapter, I had such a total writers block (it was yesterday night), and then tonight, I turn on my music, and BAM! I'm back lol! I actually like this chapter. Oh and by the way, I was supposed to update last night. I guess that I never actually posted the chapter to the story, so this morning I wake and I've gotten no response. So I go on fanfiction and realize I never actually update, lol.**

**Thank you to jojobear33, crazybeautifuldisaster, twilight-vamp-sis, sarahlouise80, BerryEbilBunny, and for reviewing last chapter!**

**Chapter Playlist: Paparazzi- Lady GaGa The Twist- Metric Push- Avril Lavigne Raw Sugar- Metric Faithfully- Glee Brick by Boring Brick- Paramore Where is My Head- Hey Monday Breathe Me- Sia For Me This Is Heaven- Jimmy Eat World Chop and Change- The Black Keys Slow Life- Grizzly Bear with Victoria Legend Hello Good- No Doubt But It's Better If You Do- Panic! At the Disco Hardwire- Metric Hallelujah- Paramore Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance**

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_My phones buzzes and I look at the screen. "Time's up." I say shakily._

_Rosalie breathes in deeply. She walks over to my dresser where the test is laying on a towel. She whimpers a little bit and then, "Pregnant." She whispers._

_Within minutes we are walking down the stairs, our elbows locked, the pee stick still in Rose's hands. Emmett turns and looks at us and immediately knows the answer to his question he left unspoken. He buries his head in his hands for a second and then runs up to us and wraps his arms around Rose. I stand there alone, watching as Rosalie cries silently and Emmett tells her everything will be okay._

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"I feel like everything is falling apart." I mumble at my cheerios the next morning. I glance over at Rosalie and Emmett. Rose is clutching her cell phone while Emmett is watching _Spongebob_.

"Do you ever stop rotting your brain by sitting in front of the television all day?" I asked, annoyed.

He glared at me. "What do you mean?"

I stood up, bumping into the table. My glass of milk spills and I watch the white liquid running down the table onto the floor.

"I mean, that your girlfriend just found out she's pregnant. While she is sitting there freaking out, you're sitting on the couch watching a re-run of Spongebob. You've probably seen this episode a thousand times." Rosalie watched me with curiosity.

"I've seen it five times." Emmett remarked. I walked up the stairs without another word. Thank god Charlie left early to go fishing. The tension here is very noticeable.

By the time my body finally reaches my room, I grabbed winter boots even though it was almost June. I didn't have time to look for anything else. I slipped them on (no way was I putting socks on). I made sure I had my cell phone and then stormed down the stairs.

"Have fun wasting you life with him." I snarl when I'm standing near Rosalie. "He'll make a great fucking dad. You know he could teach it how to drop out of school. And how to knock up a girl still in high school. Oh," I laughed dryly, then looked at him. "You'll be fucking awesome. Have a nice life you two." I stomped out of the house. My truck still sat in the driveway. I didn't want to take it. I continued to walk through Forks with tears in my eyes.

I reached a small little park. It looked a little familiar so I walked in. Kids gliding through the air on swings. It looked inviting, so I walked towards them.

I sat down on the rubber seat and saw a little girl standing in front of me, after only a few minutes of me swinging. She had an ice cream in her hands, and she continued to stare at me as she licked it. I slowed to a stop and stared back at her. She huffed and ran away. I smiled and started swinging again.

"Hey lady!" A small voice came to my side. I was about 10 feet in the air and I looked down at a seven year old swinging a lot lower than me. "The swings are for kids."

"Who said I wasn't a kid?" I asked as I went backward.

He furrowed his eyebrows together. "But you're a big kid. It doesn't count."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't see a sign that says I can't swing." I jumped off when I was at about three feet and walked away. The kid was annoying.

I passed a see-saw and smiled. Now I remember this park. My mom and dad used to take me and Emmett here when we were younger and they were still together. I hated this park. It held one of my most painful memories (literally!)…. Well until recently at least….

"Mommy?" I questioned. She looked down and smiled at me. "Yes, hun?"

"This park looks boorrriiiinnnnngggggg!" I complained.

Emmett and Charlie were kicking a soccer ball around while my mom and I ate our cookies we made the night before. At the time I didn't realize that Charlie was letting him win. I guess that's where Em got his ego from.

"Do you want to walk around?" She asked.

I nodded while chewing a mouthful of cookie. She giggled and wiped the chocolate smeared on my lips. She put the cookies back in her bag and held my hand as we walked around.

I don't remember what we saw, but one thing stuck out to me. A see-saw.

The one I saw staring at right now in particular.

Anyways I asked my mom to stay right at the spot and save it for me. I ran as fast as my five year old body could run back towards Emmett.

"Emmy! Emmy! There's a sea-saw!" Charlie followed us back towards Renee.

They left us there to have our fun while they sat down in a pavilion not to far from there. Emmett and I stared at the contraption. He sat down first so I had to try to get on top.

"Emmy! Not fair!" I complained. Emmett just turned 7, and he was really tall. Whereas I was tiny. I tried to jump up, but fell. I broke the fall with my hands.

"Ow!" I yelled. My mom looked over at us.

"Okay Bells?" She asked. I nodded with a pout. She turned back to my father. I noticed they were starting to argue. This was about six months before they separated for the first time. Through out their marriage, they were "separated" multiple times before finally ending ties with each other with their divorce four years ago.

Emmett begged me to get back on and I did. Except this time he let me go on first so I didn't have to jump up.

"Thank _you_." I said as I glared at him.

I sat down and then he hopped on. I clutched onto the bar as I rushed up into the air. We went on for 10 minutes. One up in the air, the other on the ground. I glanced over at my parents. My mom was sitting there with tears streaming down her face. Emmett followed my gaze.

"They're fighting." He stated. All of a sudden he got off, while I was in the air. I landed in the mulch and my hands didn't break my fall this time. I remember the scream that tangled out of my mouth as I looked down at the piece of mulch stick out of the side of my chin. I also had little splinters on my knees.

I shook with my sobs as my parents ran over. Charlie lifted me up in his arms and then bolted for the car. Renee sat in the back, holding my hand, as I cried.

Now looking back on it, I remember Carlisle working on my stitches. I smiled. I wondered if he remembered.

All of a sudden I looked up at the pavilion that sat acroos from the see-saw. I walked over to it and sat down. It's changed a little bit. Now a small tree grows through the middle of it, and stops at the ceiling. I sat down and felt a tear roll down my cheek.

I never told Jacob that story.

I buried my face in my hands.

"Jacob." I murmured. I curled up into a ball and laid on the table. I was breaking down in public, but I didn't care. Then I felt someone lightly touch my calf. I sat upright and turned to see who sat on the other side of the tree.

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**A/N: So now you could say Bella's kind of lost. She needs to find herself again... So who do you think is on the other side of the tree?**

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	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I'm going through a very hard time and I know this story has a loyal following, so please stick with me. I know I haven't update since March, but things come up.**

**Anyways special thanks to lightbabe for helping me with this chapter. Originally, Edward was supposed to be on the other side of the tree, but she made me change my mind. :)**

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_I never told Jacob that story._

_I buried my face in my hands._

_"Jacob." I murmured. I curled up into a ball and laid on the table. I was breaking down in public, but I didn't care. Then I felt someone lightly touch my calf. I sat upright and turned to see who sat on the other side of the tree._

* * *

"Billy?" I asked, holding back tears again.

"I miss him too Bella." He whispers.

I bury my head in my hands. "I'm so sorry!" Sobs rip through me. "If I didn't get suspended that day, I would have been at school. And I probably would prevented him from-"

"Bella, I don't think it would've helped." He placed a hand on my shoulder.

I moved away. "Yes, it would have."

"You're not the only one struggling with this." He says softly. "Think about Alice. She found her best friend dead." He choked back a sob.

"How can you do that!" I yelled. Clamping my hands on my ears.

"How can I do what Bella?" He asked sincerely.

"How can you say he's dead?" I murmured.

He sighed. "Because that's exactly what he is. Trying to avoid it isn't going to change the fact that I'll never see my son again Bella. The last memory I have of him is when they had him in a body bag." He placed both his hands on my shoulders. "You didn't have a last memory like Alice or me, did you?" I shook my head. "He wouldn't want you living like this Bella."

I breathed in sharply. "But it wasn't his time to go." I cried.

"It's funny how we say that when someone passes away. What if we're wrong. What if he was meant to go. He did his time one this Earth. At least we know he isn't being taunted every moment of his life for being who he is." I nodded. "Live the life he never got to. Show those people at school that they took something great away from us. Don't go on with this hanging over you, he wouldn't want that."

I sniffled. "Do-Do you think he knew that we loved him?"

Billy looks sideways. "I want to believe that yes."

I reach my arms out and hug him. "Thank you so much." I say.

"Your welcome." He says warmly. "Does this give you at least a little bit of closer?" I nod. He smiles. "I'm glad."

I check the time on my cell phone. "I need to start walking home. I really need to apologize to two people." My eyebrows furrowed together. "Well actually three."

"Would you like a ride home?" He asked.

"I would love to, but I think I really need some time to think." I stood up and started to walk away. "But thank you so much." He waved goodbye and so did I.

I started running to the Cullen house.

I knocked on the door like a madwoman. There didn't seem to be anyone home. I stomped on the porch in frustration.

Seconds later someone yelled "One second!"

The door opened and then I saw Edward. I jumped into his arms and cried. "I'm so sorry! I've blamed you for everything! I couldn't even imagine seeing him-" I took a breath, "dead."

He smoothed back my hair. "It's okay." He murmured.

"I know it is." I cried. "I don't want to live my life in regret."

"Neither do I." He wipes away my tears. He kisses my forehead.

"I need to say sorry to Rosalie and Emmett." I say turning to look at the grand staircase.

"Why?"

"I was kind of a bitch to them earlier." I say distantly.

Edward laughs. "You? A bitch? Haha that's too funny." I elbowed him. "I'll drive you." He starts walking out of the house. I run after him. We go to his car. Within 10 minutes we are parked outside of my house.

We go inside and we can hear Rose and Emmett upstairs yelling.

"We have to tell!" Emmett yelled.

"I have to wait." She said softly.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." She cries.

He comforts her.

Edward raises his eyebrows in shock.

I hear a car door close and I look out the window. I run upstairs and Edward quickly follows me. "Sorry to break this up." I say when I reach them but um Charlie is about to enter the house and I'm so terribly sorry for this morning."

Rosalie smiles and hugs me. "It's fine Bells."

Emmett nods. "Ditto. We all have freak outs."

"Kids, I'm home!" Charlie shouts from downstairs.

"Hey!" We all say in unison.

Rosalie frowns. "I need to pee." She hurries to the bathroom.

She closes the door behind her and then she yells, "Holy shit! Yes there is a fucking God!" The door swings open. "I got my period." She says casually.

I motion for her to shut up.

She laughs and we jump up and down silently.

She points a finger at Edward. "This doesn't leave this house, Cullen." He nodded as if he was talking to Satan.

"Now can you do me a favor and we a condom next time you have sex?" I asked politely. Emmett laughed.

After a couple of minutes Edward and I went into my room.

He sat down at the end of my bed. I plopped down next to him. I stared at him.

"Remember when I kissed you and then you punched me?" He laughed. I nodded fighting back laughter too. "I'm about to kiss you and I want to make sure you won't do that again."

I blushed. "I won't."

He grinned. "Good." His palm cupped my chin and pulled my lips to his.

I smiled and kissed him back.

"Bella, Edward!" Charlie opened my bedroom door. Edward and I jumped apart and he fell off my bed. He scrambled up to his feet. Charlie's eyes narrowed into slits. "Okay…" He turns around. "We're going out to dinner. Come down when you're- uh- ready."

Edward and I burst out laughing as he closed the door.

After dinner, Edward drove me over to his house. I needed to talk to Alice.

We pull into the garage and get out of his car. All the lights are on in the house which is odd.

We walk in and Esme is pacing back and forth.

"I can't find Alice!" She shrieks.

* * *

**A/N: I feel like this chapter is rushed, which to be honest it kind of is. I promise the next chapter will be better.**

**So while I was writing the beginning of this chapter, I was bawling! I lost a friend back in December. I wasn't even very close to her, but we were still friends. And at first I just kept imagining her actual death over and over again and it was just horrible. Plus she died on her way to see her parents which freaked me out even more. Needless to say I kind of know how Bella feels**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated, you'd think that I'd be able to with it being summer and all, but I've been sort of busy. This story has a wonderful fan following and you guys are so sweet, I just hope you guys can stick with me :)**

**Thank you to aussie jemma, BerryEbilBunny, and Jojobear33 for reviewing last chapter.**

**Chapter Playlist:**

I'm Not Okay- My Chemical Romance Hallelujah- Paramore Misery Business- Paramore 21 Guns- Green Day Rock Me Now- Metric You're Beautiful- James Blunt Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have With Her Clothes Off- Panic! At the Disco A Praise Chorus- Jimmy Eat World Drumming Song- Florence + The Machine

* * *

**_Previously:_**

_We pull into the garage and get out of his car. All the lights are on in the house which is odd._

_We walk in and Esme is pacing back and forth._

_"I can't find Alice!" She shrieks._

* * *

Words can't express how it feels to lose a loved one. To be blunt, your heart rips and half. And for me, it seems like it's about to split into quarters.

"What to you mean you can't find her?" Edward asked first with his hands on Esme's shoulders.

"I came home and she wasn't here." She pursed her lips for a couple of seconds while more tears fell. "So I checked her room and I found a piece of paper that said she loves us. That's all it said. There's blood all over the floor of her bathroom and I called her like twenty times and I don't know what to do." She fell back onto the couch behind her and cried into her hands.

"I think I know where she might be." I said softly. Esme and Edward's heads snapped up towards me.

Within minutes we were driving to the only cemetery in Forks, it was the place where Jacob was buried. I called Jasper because there was no one else besides Carlisle, who was trying to get away from work.

When we got there we gathered by the start of the graves. I was too upset to see Jacob being buried and I've never visited his grave, so I don't know where he is.

"I think I might be able to remember where it is…" Edward whispered to himself. I tossed a flashlight to Jasper.

We followed Edward through the graveyard until he stopped abruptly.

**RIP**

**JACOB BLACK**

I could only read the first two lines.

I felt my heart stop as I realized Alice wasn't here. "She's not here!" I screamed. I collapsed onto the ground and traced Jacob's name with my index finger. "Why does the grave make it seem more real?" I murmured. There was a soft thud as someone sat next to me.

"Because it is real." Edward said softly.

"Let's leave them alone," Esme said to Jasper.

I listened to the grass being stepped on as they walked away.

"Do you think we lost Alice too?" Edward asked with a saddened edge to his voice.

"I don't know." I said distantly. "I didn't think she was hurting this much." I leaned forward and pressed both my hands against the tombstone and looked at Edward. "He's really gone, isn't he?" He nodded. I smiled sadly. "Jacob, I love you so much. And I wish you were here." I pulled away and blew a kiss to the ground. Edward was staring intently at one of the many bouquets of flowers resting on the new grass while I stood up.

He grabbed my ankle. "Wait, this bunch of flowers." He pointed at it.

I kneeled down. "So, it's just flowers."

"Yeah, but it's newer than the others. Someone just put it here." He picked it up and opened the little note dangling off the stems.

**Jacob,**

**Turns out I'll see you a lot sooner than planned.**

**Love,**

**Alice**

Edward dropped the flowers and stood up quickly.

He started pacing manically. "Oh no, oh no, no no."

"Edward! Calm down!" I soothed.

"I can't! She's dead! My sister is dead, Bella!"

"We don't know that yet, she may not have done it yet." I wrapped my arms around him. "We'll find her, I promise."

He got out of my hold. "There was blood in her bathroom, Bella. What if we find her dead?"

"Bella, Edward! We need to go to the hospital!" Jasper yelled as he came running towards us.

"Carlisle just called, Alice was rushed to the emergency room. She tried to drown herself in the ocean." Esme rushed out. Edward and I unraveled from each other and ran to the car as if the world was ending.

I climbed in the seat, and bent down to place my head in between my legs.

"This can't be happening," I murmured.

Edward's arm coiled around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

After just a few minutes we were scurrying out of the car and into the hospital.

I started to shake from the tears ripping through me. I crouched down to the ground outside and clutched a bench. Edward looked down at me, grief stricken.

"Go," I croaked. I encouraged them to go in as I tried to get composure. I squeezed my eyes shut and wiped the tears clear of my face as I got up. I ran inside and saw Rosalie and Emmett hurry up to me. I sniffled. "Where is she? Have you seen her yet?" Edward and Jasper were sitting down, both covering their faces. "What happened, she's not" I breathed in heavily, "She didn't," I whimpered, "Did she pass away?"

Rosalie sobbed and then hugged me, "She's fine, she fine. No we haven't seen her yet." She looked into my eyes and cried harder, "After she is dismissed, she's going to be sent to a hospital."

At first it didn't click in my head. "Why does she need to go to another hospital?" I asked, quivering. I raised my eyebrows as I saw another tear roll down her face. "A mental hospital." I bit my lip, "Oh." Tears started streaming down my face.

I collapsed down into a chair beside Edward. He looked at me, and then took me into his arms.

He kissed away the tears falling down.

A few minutes later, Esme and Carlisle came out. I noticed her eyes were all red and puffy. I just wanted to give her a hug. She came up to us and smiled, "Bella, Edward, would you guys like to see her." I nodded profusely and we walked to her room.

I clutched onto Edward and he held onto me. It was clear we both needed each other right now.

He opened the door and ushered me to go in. I breathed in deeply before taking a step onto the linoleum floor of her hospital room.

My eyes danced to her. She was staring at the wall beside her, not paying attention to us.

Edward came back to my side as we approached her.

"Alice," Edward whispered.

She slowly turned her head to us and eerily smiled.

I bit my lip after I sighed.

Her lips were purple and she was very pale. Bandages spiraled around both her wrists.

She looked down at her hands. "I'm scared." She murmured.

Edward slipped away from me as he glided to her. "I know, Al. We all are, for our own reasons. It's okay to be scared."

Her bottom lip quivered. "Am I crazy?" She asked.

I hurried to her bedside. "No, you're not."

"But I wanted to see Jacob, so bad." She said as tears streamed down her face. "And I was so hurt. I didn't understand anything. I just wanted it to go all away. Especially," She hiccupped, "Especially, that image" She shut her eyes as she pounded the sheets, "That image of Jacob's lifeless body hanging in his house. But Edward didn't seem to be freaking out like me, so I tried to tell myself to just suck it up-"

"Alice, that's not true. It did bother me to see him like that, because he didn't deserve it. And you were a lot closer to him than me. You had the right to freak out." Edward whispered.

I reached forward and grabbed her right wrist. I looked at her sadly.

"I slit them before I jumped." She murmured.

I felt sobs traveling through my lungs to my mouth. "I have to go." I said to Edward. "I can't see her like this."

I leaned forward and hugged Alice fiercly. "I love you. You're my best friend in the whole world." I whispered. "Don't ever forget that."

I got up and walked to the door. I opened it and walked out, but as I was about to shut behind me, I heard Alice say, "I fucked everything up, didn't I?"

* * *

Later that night, Edward came home with me. He didn't want to see his parents upset at home. Plus, he couldn't stay there tonight knowing that Alice hurt herself there just hours before.

We walked into the quiet house. As I climbed the stairs I could hear Charlie's snores echo through the house.

We went into my room and I laid down softly on the mattress. He looked down at his feet. "I should probably go sleep on the couch."

I shook my head. I got up and grabbed his hand "Please stay with me." I said sincerely.

He wrapped his arms around me as he kissed my forehead. "Okay."

We both got under the blankets on the small bed. He wrapped his arms around me, I closed my eyes and I could tell he wasn't even trying to fall asleep. He was rubbing circles on my arm. I sighed internally. I turned around to face him. "Please try to sleep." I murmured.

He shrugged. "I doubt you're tired too." I nodded in agreement, "I thought so." He pushed my hair back. "Let's just talk."

"About what?" I asked slowly.

"Anything," He paused, "Everything."

I smiled. "I think I can do that."

And then for the next five hours we laid next to each other talking about everything from our favorite color to our worst nightmare.

It wasn't until four am that we both fell asleep, peacefully in each other's arms.

* * *

**a/n: I really liked the ending of this chapter... Just saying. :)**

**REVIEW :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: I don't have anything to drabble about... darn. Except that you get mad at me for this chapter.**

Chapter Playlist: **Stadium Love- Metric** According To You- Orianthi **Crazy For You-** **ADELE** A While Demon Love Song- The Killers **You & Me- Lifehouse** Succexy- Metric **Knives and Pens- Black Veil Brides** Kings- Zly **Kiss With a Fist- Florence + the Machine** Shooting the Moon- OK Go **All Around Me- Flyleaf** Speed of Sound- Chris Bell **Looking** **UP- Paramore** Out Tonight- RENT **Judas- Lady Gaga** Lovesong- ADELE **Alice- Avril** **Lavigne** Fences- Paramore **Between Two Lungs- Florence + the Machine** He Won't Go- ADELE **Bulletproof- La Roux** Without You- RENT **Born This Way- Lady Gaga** Daughters- John Mayer

* * *

Before I knew it Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Edward and I were walking out of Forks highschool on the last day of school. We were now college students.

Edward pushed me against his Volvo and kissed me softly on my lips.

"We should celebrate tonight." He whispered into my ear.

I faked a smile. "Most definitely."

He grinned and we got into the car.

As we pulled out of the parking lot I took one last glance at the place that holds so many memories for me.  
"You know, I'm kind of going to miss high school." I murmured.

Edward started to laugh.

Alice got out of the hospital just in time for prom, which made her ecstatic. Jasper asked her to go and she happily said yes. Things not only seemed to be settling in place for her, but for all of us. Except I could feel it all crumbling to the ground again.

After five minutes of driving it started to pour. Typical Forks.

"We are going to the beach." Edward simply said.

I looked at him like he was a lunatic. "But it's raining!" I said laughing.

_Break up with him._

He shrugged. "No big deal."

I leaned back into my seat, cracking up.

Within a couple of minutes we pulled to a park near La Push beach. I noticed we were in a spot hidden from view. I raised my eyebrows.

"This is crazy." I muttered as we sloshed through the soggy sand and water pounding down.

_Break up with him._

He wrapped an arm around me.

We approached the water which was kind of in a cave.

Edward gestured towards it.

"Hell no, I'm still in my clothes."

"Oh well." He ran to me and picked me up bridal style, running into the cave.

"Ahh!" I giggled. "Edward! Stop! Put me down! Edward!" We were inside now. He leaned down and kissed me, shutting me up.

I caved in and put a hand up to his face.

"I can fix the clothes predicament." He said softly.

_Break up with him._

I stayed nervously still as he set me down on a rock. I squinted as I watched him strip to his boxers. I bit my lip and then took off my shirt and my pants.

"If I get sick, I'm blaming you." I said as I walked to him.

He smiled. "Well, I'll be sick with you."

We tangled around each other, our lips meeting.

After a couple of minutes of making out we chased each other around, swimming out into the ocean.

_Break up with him._

Lightening struck a few miles away on land.

I held onto Edward. "We should get going."

_Break up with him._

He nodded and we put our dripping clothes back on before getting into his car, soaking it.

The drive was quiet on the way to my house.

_Break up with him._

We were driving onto my street when I cleared my throat.

"I think we should stop seeing each other."

I could feel his stare when he turned his head. I could already feel tears in my eyes.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because, we're going to different colleges, Edward. Things are never going to be the same. And-" I took a deep breath. "And I can tell that you don't love me. And that hurts me because," A tear rolled down my face, "_I_ do love you." I finally looked at him. "We've never been a serious couple, have we? The closest we ever got was when my best friend died. And you contributed to his death."

"But-but I do love you Bella." He stuttered.

I shook my head. "No you don't. Because if you did, you would have said it or at least it would have showed. And it didn't. And I don't want to waste time with you."

He leaned forward and caressed my cheek with his palm. "What if I said I loved you now?"

My hand gripped the door handle. "I would say that it would be too late." I kissed his cheek and then whispered, "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned." Into his ear. Then I went out of the car, wiping tears from my face.

I slid down the front door as I went in and slammed it shut.

I cried from the harshness of my own words. Emmett ran down the stairs to see me sobbing on the floor.

"I loved him Emmett. But he didn't love me. I had to end it before he broke my heart." I cried.

He hugged me. "I understand, Bells." He led me over to the couch and covered me with a blanket. He went into the kitchen and brought out a gallon of ice cream.

I smiled.

He plopped down next to me. "You'll find someone again. He just wasn't the one. You'll be better off, you'll see."

I started crying again. "He's going to hate me forever."

Emmett hugged me tightly. "Imagine it. One day, you're a nurse in…" He paused, "London." I smiled as he said my dream city, "You go to the local bookstore and you pick up _another_ copy of Romeo and Juliet. A man accidentally runs into you. Five years later, you're married to him, and you guys are starting a family." He pulled away. "Love happens because of fate. I mean imagine if you didn't come back to Forks. I would never have met Rosalie."

I snuggled into the side of the couch. "I guess."

"You'll see, I'm right." He said as he put a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth.

I grabbed a spoon too and dug in. "I want to move to England." I said.

"Go for it." Emmett replied.

I nodded. "I think I will."

* * *

The next four years went by in a blur.

Alice, Rosalie and I attended the same college, and Edward was just Alice's brother to me. We didn't talk much, he was across the country. I only ever saw him during break.

Alice and Jasper got engaged, and they were really set on marrying after college. I just looked at them like they were crazy.

Rosalie and Emmett are still together, and I think they will for a while.

I had a bunch of little flings during college life, but I didn't trust anyone again.

Edward, as far as I know, has been dating a girl named Tanya since his second year. Alice hates Tanya. Whenever they are around each other one of them picks a fight.

I met her. She's nice I guess. I wished Edward the best, and then Alice walked out talking about how I should be with him.

At the moment I'm crossing the stage to accept my college degree, I see Edward in the audience. I look away and focus on not tripping in front of everyone.

After the ceremony, my mom takes me into my arms. She came up from Florida, where she's been living, to see me graduate.

"Let's go find that crazy brother of yours." She grumbled with a smile.

I laughed and we went through the crowd to find Charlie glaring at a cozy Rosalie and Emmett.

My mom sighed. "Emmett Swan! What is with you and public affection? Especially in front of your parents?"

They both blushed as they pulled away from each other. Charlie hugged and congratulated me.

Emmett finished college last year, he's studying to be a physical therapist.

"Thanks dad." I mumbled. I stood on the tips of my toes and spotted the Cullens. "I need to see Alice." I said as I disappeared through the crowd.

She squealed as she saw me. "Can you believe it Bella!" She sprung her arms around me. "In just a week we'll be living in London." Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper decided to join me in England. We visited the city a few times and we found a flat to suit our needs.

Edward walked over to me.

He nodded his head, "Bella."

I smiled at him. "Edward.

He leaned in for a hug, which I accepted. "Congratulations." He said in my ear.

"You too." I said. "Sorry I missed it." I looked sideways over at a bored Alice. "I should go." I pointed over at my parents and then grabbed Alice's arm.

My eyes always dart to the scars still marking her wrist. For some reason, I still haven't gotten over that.

We walked over to my family, and we talked for awhile.

As everyone started to clear from the building, Alice and I walked to her car. She was hosting a graduation party and we needed to get ready.

We spent an hour splashing makeup onto our faces and fixing our hair.

People started to file in around six o clock.

Jasper and Alice found each other almost immediately.

I stood over my the drinks, spilling anykind of alcohol down my throat until I had to take off my heels from being so tipsy.

I started to walk towards a couch when I collided with someone.

I burst out laughing. "I'm so sorry!" I looked up to see Edward laughing at me.

I slid out of his grasp, eying him.

"You're drunk." He stated.

I walked back to the kitchen and sat on a chair. "So?" I slurred.

"I've never seen you intoxicated before." He said as he got a beer.

I shrugged. "I've never seen you date a girl for more than a year." I retorted.

He gulped down his first beer quickly, ignoring what I said.

When he mixed together some vodka and pepsi, I stood up angrily. "Can you stop acting like I'm not here?"

He grabbed my arm. "Let's go outside."

We sat down in the grass in the backyard. "I bet you love her." I spat. "Too bad I missed out on the feeling of having Edward Cullen love me." I circlced my finger in the air.

"I really hurt you didn't I?" He asked. I nodded. "Do you still love me?"

I took a swig of my beer. "Nope. I don't love anyone anymore. I'm too scared."

"You shouldn't be." He stumbled.

"You're drunk too." I laughed.

"I might have had a few drinks before I arrived." He grinned. He looked into my eyes for a few seconds and cupped my chin with his hand. "I'm about to kiss you." He murmured.

I rolled my eyes and pulled away. "I can see that." I pressed a hand onto his thigh. "This is when you push me away because you have a girlfriend." I whispered as I moved my hand up further.

"She won't know." He said leaning in towards me. Our lips slammed together. My hand twisted around in his hair, as his felt up my body. "Let's find a room." He said quietly.

* * *

**A/N: What do you guys think is going to happen? Review gets you a sneak peek of the next chapter :)**

**REVIEW :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: You guys might be mad at both me and Bella through out the rest of the story... Just saying.**

**Special thanks to jojobear33 and JLOm for reviewing last chapter.**

* * *

_Previously:_

_"I might have had a few drinks before I arrived." He grinned. He looked into my eyes for a few seconds and cupped my chin with his hand. "I'm about to kiss you." He murmured._

_I rolled my eyes and pulled away. "I can see that." I pressed a hand onto his thigh. "This is when you push me away because you have a girlfriend." I whispered as I moved my hand up further._

_"She won't know." He said leaning in towards me. Our lips slammed together. My hand twisted around in his hair, as his felt up my body. "Let's find a room." He said quietly._

* * *

I woke up with a pounding headache.

_We landed on the bed with a soft thud._

"Ugh." I groaned. I buried my face into a pillow.

_We both took off each other's clothes._

I stretched out and felt something warm. My eyes slowly opened, and then bulged out in horror.

_Until finally his fingers were playing with the clasp of my bra._

Edward Cullen was sleeping naked next to me.

_Within moments we were moaning each other's names._

I covered my eyes.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. What the fuck did we do last night?

I pulled up a blanket to hide my own body. "Edward!" I hissed, shaking him.

He stirred and then jumped awake. He didn't try to hide his nakedness. He looked around and then his eyes narrowed at me.

"Dammit." He muttered.

I threw a pillow at him. He weakly laughed and covered himself.

"I cheated on Tanya." He whispered to himself.

I bit my lip. "Well I'm not with anyone, so I didn't do anything wrong here." I said slowly.

"You're just as guilty as me. You knew I was with someone."

I glared at him. "Yeah, but you knew what you were doing. How am I at fault too? I'm not dating someone and I was far to drunk to know what was really going on. I can barely remember last night. Besides, y_ou_ wanted to get a room."

He put his head in his hands. "I was pretty hammered too."

"This never happened." I said abruptly. "I was extremely drunk. I have know idea what I did last night. If anyone asks, I just had a one night stand with some guy from school."

He nodded. "I just passed out somewhere after drinking a lot too."

I high fived him. "There you go. Totally unsuspicious."

I hopped up with the blanket still wrapped around me. "You have a huge hickey on your neck." He laughed.

I spun around on my heel. "It matches up with my story." I smirked and picked up my clothes.

I got dressed and then Edward did too.

"I can't believe this." He said to himself again.

"Neither can I." I said as I plopped down next to him.

He eyed me. "Are you really over me?" He asked.

I furrowed my eyebrows together. "What did I say last night?" I asked meekly.

"That you didn't love me anymore."

I smiled. "You want to know something funny? The real reason I broke up with you was because I was scared of loving you and scared of you loving me back. It wasn't because you didn't love me. It took me a while to realize that. I mean, I'm over you, it's just I regret being scared of love. I'm glad that you love Tanya. I mean I like her as much as anyone would like the girl dating their ex boyfriend." I laughed. I got up. "I should go find Alice." I leaned in and hugged Edward while kissing his cheek.

I hurried out and searched the wrecked house.

"Alice!" I exclaimed quietly.

I stepped over someone sleeping on the ground.

I walked into the kitchen and found her passed out on the counter. I started laughing. "Alice!" I shook her until her eyes fluttered open.

She looked at me and then started to laugh. "That was one hell of a party, huh?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You have no idea." As she hopped down to the ground, I had to suppress laughter. "How did you end up there?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. But I think it involves shots." She rubbed her forehead. "Aren't you hung over too?"

"I am, I'm just good at hiding it. So you didn't go upstairs last night?" I asked.

She cocked her head to the side. "No. Why?"

I waved my hand. "Nothing, it's just that it's a mess up there."

She looked at me strangely. "Okay." She chirped.

* * *

_One week later_

We arrived in London just yesterday, and it felt strange to be so far away from my family.

The first day, we mostly just went out and bought beds, since we didn't bother try ship them over. We went out to a pub and ate fish and chips later that night. I rested my head on the table and shut my eyes.

"What's wrong Bella?" Alice asked.

I breathed in slowly. "I'm soooo jet lagged."

She shrugged. "I've been drinking coffee since we woke up this morning. I don't think I'll feel tired for a while."

Rosalie started to crack up. She knocked down her soda.

I buried my face in my hands as I started to laugh at her.

* * *

We had to wait for our stuff that we wanted to arrive, and that took a couple of days but meanwhile we started buying new furniture and getting into the hang of things. The day that all of our stuff from home arrived I was making eggs in the kitchen, dancing.

I started to sing a corny song into the spatula as the doorbell rang.

"Hold on!" I set down the spatula on the granite counter and ran to the door. I swung it op and watched them load box after box inside.

I walked back over to my eggs and waited for my coffee. I wasn't used to the time in London yet so I was still waking up before anyone else. I've been getting better though. Right now it's 12:34 p.m. London time.

I knocked on Rose's room. "Coffee!" I yelled. A few minutes she came out with a sleepy look on her face. "Can you wake up Alice and Jasper?"  
She nodded and walked down the hall.

I headed back to the kitchen just as the guys finished moving in our stuff.

Once everyone was seated down, drinking our coffee, I felt like I got my period.

"Dammit." I muttered. I slammed my mug down on the counter before I stomped over to the bathroom.

As I pulled my pants down and saw blood I yelled, "Are you kidding me?"  
I could hear Rosalie laughing as Jasper asked what was going on.

I did my business and huffed as I grabbed my coffee.

"How's Aunt Flow?" Alice asked sarcastically.

Jasper choked on his coffee. "I'm walking away now!" He exclaimed.

"Just fine, thank you." I smirked.

* * *

"I want to open a clothing store." Alice said.

"Whoah, Al. We just got here a three weeks ago, can you slow down a bit?" I asked, surprised.

She jumped. "I should totally do that!" She squealed and ran upstairs to her room. I realized she didn't listen to a thing I said.

Rosalie leaned against a cabinet. "Bella, since we both have our nursing license, I was thinking we should start looking for a job."

I shook my head. "I told you that I'm not sure what kind of nurse I want to be."

I spontaneously decided to become a nurse during college, because I didn't know what else to do. Turns out I'm pretty good at it.

"Well why don't we go to the hospital and ask what positions are available." She suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "Do I really have a choice?" She shook her head and and an hour later we were walking through the streets of London to the local hospital.

We entered and walked to the receptionist.

"We wanted to know if there were any nursing positions open." Rosalie told the lady.

She grinned at us. "Erm, we do actually. We have quite a few in the NICU-"

Rosalie nudged me with a questioning look. She looked back at the lady. "Can I apply for the NICU?"

I felt opporitunity knock and I had to decide whether or not I was going to answer.

"Me too." I said suddenly.

We filled out the application, and handed them back to her.

"We'll call you girls back in a couple a days for an interview," She moved forward, "But I like you two, I'll put in a good word."

I smiled. We walked out.

I threw my purse back on my shoulder.

"Ugh! I can't believe I just did that!" I exclaimed.

She wrapped an arm around me. "I didn't make you."

"Yeah, but I felt bad!" I started to laugh.

"You can always quit if you don't like it."

"I haven't even gotten the job." I muttered.

By the time I went to bed that night, I noticed I wasn't bleeding anymore. I frowned. I didn't normally have periods that light or that early. I wasn't supposed to get it until next weekend. The thoughts kept nagging me up until the next week, which came and went.

Rosalie and I were both called for interviews, and they let us know that we should hear back from them soon.

Alice was cooped up in her room, drawing designs. We all found our little things in the city.

I went out to a bar one night, and the smell of fish reached my nose while I was talking to a guy, a hot one may I add. I covered my mouth as my stomach started to churn.

I clutched my stomach and ran to the bathroom. The guy even followed me in and held my hair.

He was sweet, so I got his phone number. But I doubt he would ever want to see me again after watching me barf right after meeting me.

The nausea went a way a little bit when I got home, except later that night while I was trying to fall asleep, I felt like I was going to be sick.

_Could I be pregnant?_

_No, I can't. I'm on birth control. I just got my period. But the last guy I slept with did use a condom, didn't he?_

_But that guy was Edward. And I don't remember him using one._

_Shut up Bella. You're on birth control._

I had to put a rest to my internal battle. I slipped flip flops on and ran out of the house.

There was a little convenience store close by and soon I was buying a pregnancy test.

I went back home and peed on it in the bathroom.

I sat down on the bathroom floor and waited for my fate.

Finally the time was up and I nearly screamed.

**Not pregnant**

I clapped my hands to my mouth and silently jumped up and down.

_I'm just sick, thank god_.

I grabbed the stick and threw it out the window so there was no trace to where it came from.

The next day I made an appointment to get a different birth control. I wanted to be sure I wouldn't be scared like that again.

I got ready and as I was heading out Alice and Rosalie stopped me.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked.

"To the doctor.." I said slowly.

She gasped, "Why what's wrong?"

"I'm just getting new birth control." I laughed.

"Why?" Rosalie asked. "I thought you liked that pill one."

"Nah," I shake my head . "It's a pain in the ass to remember to take it everyday. I forget all the time."

Alice narrows her eyes. "It doesn't work if you don't take it everyday Bella!"

I laughed and patted her head. "Don't worry, I'm not pregnant."

I rolled my eyes and walked out.

I got to my appointment within twenty minutes. I walked in and waited to be called.

"Isabella?" I looked up and followed the person into a room. I got ready for the doctor and waited for him to come him.

On the wall were pregnancy posters. I eyed them and grimaced.

The doc came in and gave me more information on the birth control I was going to get.

He showed me the little thing that you have to put up into your vagina. I bit my lip.

"Okay." I quietly said. I didn't quite understand how a piece of plastic was going to keep me from getting knocked up but, it works.

I spread my legs open and waited for the poking and prodding to begin.

I heard him say, "Oh." I raised an eyebrow.

He rolled the chair away from me and stared into my eyes. I closed my legs.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Miss Swan, I'm afraid that I can't give you the birth control."

I felt my heart beat fast in my chest as I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Why not?" I asked slowly.

I watched his lips move, but I didn't want to believe the words spilling out of his mouth. They take my blood and then have me pee in a cup. Again come those words that I don't want to hear. Next thing I know, a nurse is leading me to a ultrasound room.

* * *

**A/N: I didn't want to end it there, but I had to stop the chapter at some point..**

**REVIEW :) it'll get you a sneak peek of the next chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**A/N: Special thanks to Cullen-Tea-Party, polkadots, and jojobear33 for reviewing last chapter :)**

* * *

I turned my head and looked out the window as I waited for an ultrasound technician to come in. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

_"How can I be pregnant? I just took a test, it was negative. And I just had my period, that's impossible."_

_"You shouldn't rely on home pregnancy tests. They aren't always accurate. And if you are pregnant, that was the egg implanting itself into the uterus, not your period. And I'm pretty positive. Your cervix is plugged. But to be sure we'll take your blood and test your urine."_

My heart lept as I realized I was pregnant with Edward's child.

_"Isabella, they both show that you are indeed pregnant."_

I took out my phone and went through my address book. I found Edward and pressed Send Message.

My fingers trembled.

I stared at the empty message for a couple seconds before exiting out of it. I couldn't tell him. What if Tanya is holding his phone when I text him, "I'm pregnant". What if I call him, and she listens in. It's better off I keep it a secret, for now. I was a mistake. Edward cheated on Tanya, this was never supposed to happen, so why tell him right now? Instead I dialed Emmett's phone number.

I waited through the rings for his voice.

"Hello?"

"Congratulations." I murmured.

A pause. "What do you mean?" He asked.

My breathing hitched. "You're going to be an uncle."

"What?" He asked suddenly. "Bella, you don't mean? You're?"

I bit my lip, "Pregnant? Yeah, I am actually. Surprised?" I breathed in heavily, "So am I."

"I can't believe this, Bells." He said, stunned.

"Neither can I."

"Are you keeping it?"

"Of course." I murmured. "I'm going to take responsibility for what I did."

The technician walked in.

"Who's the lucky guy?"

I ignored him. "Listen, I gotta go. About to get an ultrasound. Only tell Dad, no one else. Send that message to him too. No one can know. I have to tell Rose and Alice first and then you guys can tell whoever you want. Love you bye." I hung up on him and slipped my phone back in my purse.

She instructs me to lift up my shirt, and I do. She squirts that gel stuff onto my abdomen. I shiver. "That's cold."

She laughs. "I hear that every single time. "

"There's your baby." She said sweetly.

I looked up at the screen and it looked like a little orb thing inside my uterus. "Wow." I gasped.

She nodded. "So this is your first?"

I nodded. "Wow." I repeated. "I can't believe there's a human, growing inside of me."

She laughed. "It's a weird thought to get through your head, isn't it? I found out I was pregnant just recently. Hmm, you seem to be about a month along too."

I smiled. I felt tears stinging in my eyes.

She turned off the machine and handed me a paper towel to wipe off my stomach.

"Thank you." I said.

She waved her hand. "No problem."

I walked out of the doctor's office and headed back home. I made it home faster and nearly ran in. I was about to explode, I needed to tell someone. Jasper was watching TV on the couch. I plopped down next to him.

"Hey Bella."

I brought my knees up to my chest. "Hey Jasper."

He eyed me. "Why so tense?"

I shrugged. "A lot on my mind." I hopped off the couch and started to pace the house. By the time I passed Jasper for the seventh time he jumped up.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I glanced down at my stomach. "I can't tell you." I insisted.

"Come on, I won't tell Alice."

I sighed, "And Rosalie?" He nodded. "Pinky promise?" We shook pinkies. "I'm pregnant." I blurted out.

His jaw dropped. "What?"

I glared at him. "I think you heard what I said." I walked away and sat back down on the couch, a little relieved now that I told someone here.

He sat back down too. We both turned our attention to the TV as if the past half hour didn't happen.

Soon Alice and Rosalie came home with groceries.

They must have sensed my distress to because they both slowed as they saw me. I got up and helped them put away the food. They exchanged glances as we walked back into the living room.

I bit on a hangnail as my uneasiness grew. Rosalie and Alice wouldn't stop staring at me.

"How was your appointment?" Alice asked.

I looked at her. "Umm. Eventful. Hmm, surprising too."

She looked at Jasper, who I could tell was dying to exploit my secret. He looked over at me.

I buried my face in my hands and then got up. My ultrasound pictures were in my room, so I went to get them.

I pressed them to my chest as I sprinted back downstairs. I slowly approached Alice and Rose. I placed the pictures on the coffee table in front of them and then sat back down.

I watched the confusion on their face. They both looked up at me and then back at the picture, and then at my stomach, then they looked at each other.

"What is this?" Rosalie asked with a hint of hysteria in her voice.

I fumbled with my hands. "That's my baby."

A huge grin spread onto Alice's face before a squeal let out through the air.

"No way!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Who's the father?" Alice asked curiously.

I wasn't prepared to answer that question. Alice caught me off guard. I faked a cough. "Uh one night stand. I let him know but he doesn't want to be a father, so I'm doing this by myself." I lied. Well the first part wasn't I lie. And well I was doing this by myself, so that wasn't a lie either. "It was this kid that was in one of my classes. We hooked up at the graduation party." I said softly.

"Bad girl, Bella!" Rosalie said surprised. "You never told us you slept with anyone!"

"You never asked." I simply said.

She jumped. "Oh Bella! The hospital called while you were off discovering you have a child burrowing into your uterus." I laughed into my hands. "We both got the job!"

She hugged me tightly. "You'll kill me and said child by keeping me from breathing." I joked. She let go and sat back down.

Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice. "You are going to stay here, right?" She asked nervously.

"Of course." I looked at each of their faces. "That is if you don't want some crabby pregnant woman waddling around the house for the next eight months and then a screaming baby after that-"

"We're not going to kick you out!" She shouted.

I laughed. "Good.

"So," Rosalie nudged me. "Are you excited?"

I looked sideways. "At first I wasn't. I was scared. But now that I know that I have a good support system and it hit me that I'm having a baby, I'm happy."

She smiled. "Now, the kid is going to call me aunt Rosie, right?"

I stood up and put my hands out in front of me. "I just told you I'm knocked up and your thinking about what it's going to call you?" I laughed as I climbed the stairs to my room. "If that's what you desire most, then sure."

The minute I collapsed onto my bed, my phone rang. I sighed and rolled over and brought it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"When were you planning on telling me yourself that you were pregnant?" Charlie asked.

"Oh hey, Dad. Nice to hear from you too. Oh, what that? How's London? Well, it's wet. It rains a lot, kind of like Forks, but it's amazing-"

"Hey Bella." He gruffly said.

I smiled. "Thank you. So now to answer your question, I just found out literally," I glanced at the time. "2 ½ hours ago. So I'm deeply sorry that calling you was high priority. Besides, you and Emmett were the first ones to know."

"But I had to hear from Emmett."

"But you _knew_." I yawned. "Dad, I'm really not in the mood to discuss the sea monkey growing me right now, so can I call you in the morning?"

"Yes, Bella." He laughed. "I love you."

"Love you too Dad. Bye" I hung up and then placed my phone on the mattress under me.

I laid back down on my back and pulled up my shirt. I stared at my stomach for a couple minutes and then I started to rub it.

"Wow." I murmured.

* * *

**a/n: I feel like I write so much more in a chapter now. Like I can go on and on now, I have to stop myself. I had to end this chapter here, because if I went any further, it would probably be like 3,000 words until I could end it again.**

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